/-\ S l< FaLLaFel

Ask Fallafel

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Yo Check out my Phat Midi Web Page!!!!!!


\/\/ElCome!!! Feel free to add a URL for me if you see a good search engine i'm not on!! You will be rewarded handsomely, nah i don't think so. This may fuckle your computer if you don't have Java. Advertisers welcome STILL!!!

well, i have this problem with being wildly attracted to this aloe plant in my kitchen, how's it's all sticky just makes me want it. what should i do?

You most likely have a rare aloe plant called STICKIUS FUCKIU!!! The problem is I am guessing you feed him Kibbles and Bits, am I right?? Yes!! Yes!! I am. What you got to do is feed it GoldFish Food. That will solve the problem

I don't understand anything? What's wrong with me?

Your probably just fucking dumb.
Dear mr. fuck ass hoe

I have a penile but no gland. Please help me

Allow me masterbate the vaginirial disease of the typical scrotum and therefore undushing the testicality.

i have a fat friend named andy. he's ugly and stupid. he can't find a woman so he jacks off everywhere. we used to go places together but now i cant even go to wal-mart with him because he'll drop his pants and start wacking in the middle of the store. how to make him stop?


Dear Tim,

Instead I think you should shop at K-Mart. They have much lower prices!

Dear Fallafel,

My boyfriend has two penises. The problem is that both can't fit in my mouth. He's also uncorodinated and tells me he can not jack-off with both hands, because he has to be fair to both of them. Also, when I have sex with him I have to stick both of those big hairy guys into me. It gets very tiring. Fallafel man, what should I do? Maybe you could help me both physically and mentally.

Mother Teresa

Well I have only one dick (hint-hint)

Can you tell what websites to visit if I'd like to know the many ways of how to kill a human? Information like: six pounds of pressure at a __ degree angle breaks a knee (I know that, but dont wish to reveal it)

From BKChaos

If you want to kill humans you must visit Jolly Rancher's Anarchy site. But until then here's another juicy one. If you hold a gun at a 0 degree angle to a head and apply pressure to the trigger.................................

dear fella,

my girlfriend's mom has been comming on to me. i mean, REALLY hard. i will "conveniently" "walk-in" on her shaving her legs NAKED, ect.. she is like 50 something, but i am sometimes tempted to just "go for it". what should i DO. and then she has this dog, but lets not talk about that....thanx.

Well I think you should start hitting on her dog. Then she will become insainly jealous and you just might get lucky!!!



BEFORE i Ask My QUEsstion i just wanted to tell you that you are such an inspiration to me! You are the best advice person since Ann Landers. I have a homepage too. My column is "ASk Cornholia". I'm thinking of renaming it "Ass-k Cornholia", but don't know how my readers would react. Whatshould I do?


I would recommend naming it "Ass-k the Ass!!!!" This would really catch the reader's attention. Or maybe you could name it "ASSASSASSASS-K CoRnHolIa if you really want e-mail.

dear falaffel,

today i caught my dad trying to eat the cats shit. He later told me it was nothing and i should go play w/ my darts. funny thing is I HAVE NO DARTS. Then later, i heard him telling my mom that he was going to "stick it" to her and she was going to smell. Something is really fucking wrong with my parents what should i do?

Sincerely, Spikey Poop

So Young, So young. They pray on the very young. Take a deep breath before you read this Spikey Poop but.................Your parents are gigantic penguins in constumes!!!!!! All you gots to do is wait till they go to sleep and stick a large chunk of Monteray Jack Cheese under their pillow. Then their costumes will flop of and you will see them for who they really are!!!!

EMAIL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

E-Mail Adress:
Type yo problem here:

How the fuck did you find me???
What color are your eyes? Yes No


Okay that's fine!

Reserved for the people:

If you have something you would like to say just E-Mail me.

Keep da' WAreZ phree!!!!!!!!!

Fear and Respect are the greatest emoions, the hell with love.

Nazi Punks Fuck off!!!

Links dammit:

Fag's webpage
Some 100 hot thingy
Comedy Central
Intensity Skateboards
Foundation/Toy Machine Web Pages

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